things in life that i am so over:

twilight. WHEN WILL THIS INSANITY END? I won't treat you all to my anti-Twilight tirade, since it's long-winded, full of irrational (to some) biases, and frankly every time I get started I just get and more upset at the series infiltrating my life in such an enormous fashion, even though I have boycotted reading the books and seeing the movie. Suffice it to say, even though I was never "under" Twilight, I am now officially more than ever, just OVER IT. i couldn't even watch the mtv movie awards last night because i just knew it was going to be twilight dominated. how sad is that?! i love those awards! i mean, i understand they are just a tweeny-drived materialistic red-headed stepchild of like the daytime emmy's, but it's frivolous fun and it's not right it was taken from me by that insipid linkin park loving stephanie myers. and thanks, robert pattison. you're dirty, and shaggy and you play a vegetarian vampire (the concept of which is the stupidest thing in the WORLD - either be a fucking vampire or don't, okay?), and you've taken the mtv awards from me too. which means, in active avoidance of your disgusting visage, i missed the newest HP6 clip that premiered last night during the show. Remember your good friend the Harry Potter franchise, bobby? Why have you turned on those who gave you your ascent into stardom?! Cedric never would have, may he rest in peace.



michigan. recently, the michigan tourism industry is pumping money into commercials that are being shown here. in OREGON. Like, what?! It's bad enough that we get those lame California commercials with Rob Lowe and Maria & Arnie drinking wine in Napa, but at least that makes sense because we're neighbors. But Michigan? If I hadn't been the geography whiz of the 5th grade, I wouldn't even know where the fuck Michigan was! For argument's sake, I just google map'd it, and it is in fact over 2,000 miles away. And what the hell is even IN michigan? A failing, bankrupt auto industry? Thousands of laid-off workers? Detroit? Freezing and unbearable temperatures? Weird accents and women who wear sweaters with snowmen on them? Um...no thanks. And, according to a quick Wiki, michigan has the 3rd most registered hunters in the US. Well cool if I were Sarah Palin, but thank my lucky stars I'm not. so sorry, michigan tourism industry, your commercial creates more confusion instead of a burning desire to visit your midwestern state, even if it does have more public golf courses than any other state.

hipsters. also known as 90% of the age 18-30 bracket of Portland. you know what i'm so over about these guys? well, mainly the fact that they think they are oh-so much better than I am. Guess what? Just because I don't dress in an androgynous fashion and title my facebook albums . or " or z, just because I'd rather watch The Sweetest Thing over some artsy foreign film and I don't smoke cigarettes doesn't give you the right to judge me from behind your ironically funky sunglasses. I see your pitying glances when I turn into Starbucks and you turn into your anti-corporation cafe/hookah bar combo. Like "ooh she goes to Starbucks and supports American capitalism, and I don't think that shirt is from American Apparel. She probably doesn't even know who Kafka is, and I doubt she reads The New Yorker" Oh, BURN. Good one, hipster. By the way, I love how you and your boyfriend have matching skinny jeans and hairstyles. Now, the thing is - I could easily become a hipster. I have all the right ingredients - I do own skinny jeans, I go to a small, private liberal arts school. I have tattoos. I like gay people. I studied abroad in Europe. NYT.com is my homepage. But I resist this urge with a venegance, unlike most of the people with whom I went to high school. Because, simply, these assholes are hypocrites. "Oh, I'm so cool and unique in my thrift store shapeless dress and my pack of American spirits. Maybe I'll just go hang out on Mississippi and talk about my super-far-left politics...oh, 100 people are already here doing just that. Weird!"

over it.