michael cera

In my post below, I forgot to mention the most obvious and greatest reason why Ellen keeps my will to live from completely shriveling. See, I have this theory/fantasy hybrid that if I were to meet Ellen & Portia, a. we would become friends and b. Portia would set me up with her Arrested Development co-star Michael Cera because she would clearly see that we are destined for each other. Which we are, for many a reason. First, we're both gemini non-vegetarians, so obviously like Elle and Bruiser Woods, we will love each other so much we'll start to match. Secondly, his only quote on IMDB is "I'm not really trying to make great art." Neither am I! In fact, I don't even make art in the first place, let alone great art! Thirdly, he plays the guitar and sings. I do neither of those things, but appreciate it immensely. Fourth, like another one of my soulmates, he is an author AND likes history. I'm a history major and english minor so clearly not only we will have intellectual conversations all the time, he will also probably propose at a battle reenactment whilst quoting a literary great (fingers crossed for JKR), which would be so cool. Such valid reasons clearly show why I'm like 98% positive that if Michael Cera and I were ever to lock eyes at one of Ellen & Portia's big house parties whilst bopping along to k.d. lang, it would be love at first sight.

so the swine flu. that shit sucks. luckily, I rarely if ever leave the corner of my basement couch, so I'm thinking that puts me at pretty low risk for contracting the pig virus. Also, you know what's less than funny? This joke: "Some people used to say that a black man would be president when pigs flew! And look at us now - pig flu!" HAHA LOL. Funny the first time because I like a pun as much as the next girl but a. obamers became Prez BEFORE the H1N1 virus caused mass panic so the joke doesn't really make sense and b. hearing it for the 72nd time from the cashier at starbucks just isn't really something i'm particularly looking for when I go in for a Chai Latte. I'm not looking for you to vamp, starbucks dude, I just need some caffeine.